The testing experience
By Evelyn Gathuru
On December 1st, many people and organisations around the world will commemorate World AIDS day.
During a staff meeting this morning, we paused to consider the impact of HIV/AIDS: 30.8 million adults and 2.1 million children are living with HIV. Most of these people are in Sub-Saharan Africa. In 2008, 280,000 children died of HIV related causes.
These statistics are frighteningly overwhelming. I find it very difficult to comprehend suffering and loss on such a huge scale.
Counselling
In the face of this harsh reality, I am ashamed to admit, that I am tempted to make the distinction between ‘self’ and ‘other’ when it comes to HIV. Even with all my knowledge on HIV/AIDS I still sometimes find myself thinking that HIV is a concern for the ‘other’ and not for the ‘self’.
Getting tested at a voluntary testing and counselling centre (VCT) quickly erases this false belief. This has got to be one of the most nerve racking yet rewarding experiences.
Having worked as a VCT counsellor in one of Nairobi’s largest hospitals, I thought the testing experience would be different from me. After all, I am an ‘insider’, I know the testing and counselling procedure, I know the questions the counsellor will ask me.
Questions
Then came the questions: ‘how would you react if this test was showed you are HIV positive?’ ‘Have you shared your decision to get tested with anybody in your life?’ ‘Do you wish to be tested today?’
Although I had asked these questions thousands of times, the reality suddenly hit me: this wasn’t some hypothetical situation. In those few minutes before the test, I had to consider how my loved ones would react if I was HIV positive.
While I am certain that a few key people in my life would be supportive, I am equally certain that some people would want to disassociate themselves from me if I was HIV positive. Everything seemed so real.
Cancer
I then considered other diseases that have such a life altering image. Cancer immediately jumped to mind. But if this was a cancer test I would want to know the results, even if they showed I had cancer, right?
I would want to know immediately so that I could start treatment. Even with cancer it wouldn’t be the end of the world, I could still ‘beat’ it.
It would be the same with HIV; with anti- retroviral therapy and good nutrition, this could be a manageable condition. And if I was positive it was better that I knew immediately. So I pushed the fear away and took the test.
National campaign
Ten minutes later my result was ready. It was negative. The counsellor then talked me through the steps that I could take to ensure that I remained negative.
As I said at the beginning, this was an extremely rewarding process. It made me consider the choices I have made to date, and how I can be more responsible in the future.
A testing campaign in Kenya aims to get 2 million Kenyans tested. This year as we mark World AIDS day, I urge everyone here to find out their status and protect themselves and their loved ones.
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